Welcome To My Hood adulthood, wifehood and motherhood
I am here to share and let you make your own decision.
Growing up I went to a church where I felt very judged and never fit in their image. I wasn't given the choice not to go until I was almost 18. I never lost my faith in Jesus however my relationship with him has changed many times since I was a child. I never wanted to be that Christian who pushed Jesus or my religion on someone. I always wanted to show Jesus's love and let them decide where to go from there.
A few things I have always held on to was love like Jesus, give others grace, no one is perfect and not to judge others. I have felt way more judgement from others, and I never want someone to feel that way from me. I personally give others too many chances because Jesus will always give me a second, third, hundredth chance to do it over. Jesus has always said love is above everything else.
1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I will do my best to love first, seek understanding and offer help before I will judge or condemn others. I strongly believe God has handed me my struggles so I could tell the world how he helped me through it brining others closer to him. To me Christianity is about building a relationship with our God which includes Jesus and the holy spirit. I am blessed to be in a position to share this part of my life with you and I hope it brings positive things to your life.
Finding Your True Self within Jesus
I have struggled with my identity a lot over my lifetime. I am not talking about if I was a boy or a girl, wanted to go by they or them. I am talking about who I was as a person and why I am here on this planet. I have had periods in my life of feeling like I know exactly where I need to be, and I have had periods in my life of feeling completely worthless with no direction. During each of these periods of my life and there wasn't just one, the closer I got to Jesus the more I realized who I am and where I am needing to go.
I was adopted at an early age and finding my identity took time. I have and still do at times question what the fuck am I doing and why am I here. Each time those thoughts coming rushing in my head, I do my best to push them out. Sometimes I succeed and when that happens Jesus kindly sends me whispers reminding me of my purpose and what path I need to be going. These whispers could literally be whispers in my head or it could be a friend telling me to remember who God has created me to be and he will guide our steps. When we sit in our negative thoughts it allows the enemy to come in and try to destroy you. During one of these periods in my life, I continued to listen to those thoughts instead of turning to the cross and my depression got bad.
I know when my depression starts to turn in the wrong direction because I stop brushing my teeth, it takes a lot of effort to shower and during one of these times in my life, I constantly thought about driving my van off the road. Luckily, I decided to turn towards the cross and Jesus placed people in my life to turn it around. I still have episodes and I am on medication however I know what Jesus is capable of and I turn to him before I allow the enemy to put me back in that position again.
Whenever I begin to doubt myself, he is right there reminding me he has more for me. If I wake up in the mornings, I know he's not done with me. The more effort I put in to get closer to Jesus the more I felt of value and capable of anything. The further away I got from Jesus the more lost I felt. I had a family but being adopted places a sense of forgottenness and loneliness in your spirit even if the intention was good.
I don't have all the answer still however I do know the more time I spend with Jesus it is easier to know which path to take and which direction I am going. He always places the right people, signs, music, stop signs etc. to get me where he made me to be. If you are struggling with finding out who your true self is, I can only recommend seeking Jesus and he will set things in place to help you know without doubt who you are and meant to be.
Prayer Journal
As part of my relationship with Jesus, I pray. I am also a person that loves journals. So, I made one with the things I like in hopes to inspire others. This is a very basic prayer journal to help you keep track on what you're praying for, see your blessings and remember who Jesus is.
If you're like me and love journals check mine out!
